Can I see the Dr?

I’m unsure where to start this first blog post. I love to write and my biggest weakness is spelling so a word of caution this will have some type of grammatical error to which I have warned you of. 

Yesterday I launched a Kickstarter for a project that I had been working on for literally 4 plus years. As I write this my campaign is at $131. I am super grateful that 5 people backed the project. It’s taught me a lot. One thing that it has taught me is that people who say they are going to do something and don’t is more often than not. People are also greedy. However, it’s also shown me that people are supportive and it’s showed me that the people who truly care about your vision are those are the first ones to jump on board. Those people are the ones I do this for. I don’t care about the other people. If I have an audience of two that’s the two people, this and everything I do is for. 

My anxiety and depression have been heightened as a result of this project. Something that once was so innocent and brought me joy is literally bringing me heart ache and devastation. At the same time, it’s a relief. I have had this cramming up in my mind for the longest time and finally putting it out there will either break into the universe with the project or nail the coffin. I imagine this is very similar to a lot of my favorite musician process. Maybe that’s why there’s so much mental health issues in the musician industry. It’s stressful as heck to take something close to your heart and put it out there for people to not be into it. Most creative people struggle or have to maintain and cope with mental health myself definitely included in that. 

One of my favorite lines from a song is “When your album sales wasn’t doing too good who’s the doctor they to you to go see?” Spoiler alert, it’s Dr. Dre. Ironically or not I am writing this while listening to Odesza on my Solo Beats by Dr. Dre. Anyway I love that line because I really wish that I could see Dr. Dre and he would some how magically fix my record so album sales go up. It’s also funny because the title of the song is Forgot About Dre by Dr. Dre featuring Eminem. It’s one of my favorite songs of all time. It’s so fresh. Super fresh. Still to this day. I literally switched to this song after typing the beginning part of this paragraph. 

It’s also a great song the song is about the period of time after Dr. Dre escape from Death Row and people were saying he couldn’t make beats any more. All this that and the other. Not even sure how I got into this. The entire blog post was going to go on about how I strongly feel the tape cassette will become more important to musicians than vinyl. 

Today I worked my day job which is selling cars. I had 44 calls scheduled today which is already double what the average sales person calls. I left calling over 150 customers. That’s how I work. I am super focused and I do way more than I was supposed to. It was a slow day at the dealership only two people came in but I know that if I want people to come in I need to make sure that pipeline is filled so I can make sure I have enough money to pay for the hobbies that I so despite wish I could do full time. In addition to that I need the income and stable job so I can continue my other side hustle of real estate. 

On the way home I went to my typical late night at work stop Taco Bell. It’s the only place I can get “vegan / vegetarian” food at freaking 9 PM on the way home. On the way I called my husband crying because the day was overwhelming. I had been promised a promotion for literally a year and haven’t moved up yet. I am in the top 3% of my company’s sales with over 800 sales people. They continue to promote people with less skill and sales than myself and yet I am still not promoted. I also was emotional about the project. When I was sitting there it hit me. 

I have been upset because I wanted to make my vinyl record cheaper so more people could but it but the thing was there was no away for me to do that without losing a ton of money. I’m not upset about my project’s slow start because I understand people don’t want to spend $25 for a random person’s project. A few things I thought about the world might not be ready for it or it’s not good enough. 

I know it’s not the music or my art work itself because when I released my tape cassette Space Cadette people out of random parts of the internet bought it. There were people who weren’t even following me on social media. They found me after buying the music on band camp. That’s pretty freaking awesome! And one guy told me his kids loved the music and they loved the cartoon even more. That moment was so great to me. Somebody liked the stuff enough to share it with their kids. The humans they love the most. Their mini me. 

Maybe the world isn’t ready for Secret Vinyl Club. In a world where everybody is moving towards virtual reality and augmented reality you’d be ridiculous to think that I didn’t already approach a major VR / AR company. I did, if fact I reached out to one and they didn’t reply back with a yes or no. Instead they sent me a light saber and a t shirt. I’m like this is freaking awesome but also wtf I need a job not a light saber. I later found out somebody from my high school worked there and I’m like well here I am again left like dust. The ideas I have for Secret Vinyl Club go far beyond a record and comic. It would be an entire universe and experience. My main reason is because we spend so much of our time these days online and it would be nice to be able to have something that is private. Maybe it does use new technology but what if you had these things you can do in the privacy of your own home without being tracked? 

It’s a big freaking concept I have. 

On of the things I am going to work on if this project fails on Kickstarter is limited edition cassettes. I found out about this through a friend I met on Reddit. I bought their tape cassette. They bought mine. We randomly talk about music stuff and concepts of independent music. After this blog post I will be visiting their podcast to hear what they have to say. 

Anyway I thought it would be cool to have a project on cassette to make limited edition releases and have it that they are again kid friendly. People let their kids use tablets all the time and that’s fine but there was a time that kids were happy with a tape deck and headphones. I for one went on many trips to Orlando with my Fisher Price tape deck listening to Disney tapes. 

Oh dear. I wrote an additional 1,000 words that got deleted. Guess I’ll have to write some more tomorrow. Have an awesome day or night depending on your time of day.