Why do we do things to impress other people?

Three things I pondered today 

  1. At what point do we take responsibility of the things that manifest in our lives or at least our ability to control reactions  ?
  2. Why do we do things to impress other people?
  3. If a movement takes one person to follow a leader, is it the first follower the true leader? 

In a recent situation I had a person upset at me for the car they picked out. Mind you this specific person had requested to purchase a vehicle at the minimum down payment. When you provide this information and your credit score is extremely low the bank is only going to offer a couple options if any. This person insisted that I forced the car on them. The reality of it is, they walked up to my desk, asked me to show them cars that work. I showed them all that I could physically show on my lot. Of the cars I showed them they decided to purchase it. I did not force them into anything. When I provided information to this person they decided to flick me off while pointing at stuff on a paper. I thought to myself how immature, a person who is double my age is flicking me off because they are unhappy with their circumstances they put themselves into. Nobody told you to mess up your credit, nobody told you to buy a car, and nobody told you to come up to me. You decided to come and I did the best I could do. No reason to blame me for your circumstances. 

I try to be humble and at times I find it difficult to be empathetic when a person is lying or questioning my integrity. The reality of it is that it’s them, not me. As much as would have loved to show that person every car on the lot, I couldn’t. To tell me that I forced them into something is questioning my integrity. I would never force somebody into doing something they didn’t want to. It left me thinking a lot of things and specifically I wondered about the point of taking responsibility for your own situation or at least having the ability to control your own reactions to situations. 

One of the things I spend a lot of time thinking about is why we do things to impress other people. People buy things to impress others. I try to not be in that lifestyle but still I catch myself periodically about to buy or do something that I shouldn’t or wouldn’t normally buy. I do believe in splurging in things that truly bring you joy. 

On that note I do drive what is considered a entry level luxury car. I’m in a Lincoln MKZ hybrid and the car is not cheap by any means. There were a lot of factors taking into consideration when I purchased it. Not one of the reasons was for status or showing off. It happens to be that the best deal I could have gotten was this Lincoln MKZ. It was a certified preowned car so it had remaining manufactory warranty and extended service through the certified preowned aspect of it. When I crunched the numbers for the Lincoln vs the Ford C-max I ended up the MKZ because it was less money long term. With the other hybrids I would have needed to get service plans and other coverage that I didn’t have to worry about with the Lincoln. I wanted a hybrid and it just happen to be an excellent deal. 

Now with my thought process of not wanting to impress other people I sit there and think to myself did I buy this Lincoln to show off? Then I go over the numbers and immediately say no. I did grow up in Lincolns and getting into one was also very nice because they remind me of my childhood but this was the most logical purchase at the time I did it.

My microwave broke yesterday which was super frustrating and my oven has continued to give me a hard time. We already tried to get the microwave fixed however it is unrepairable and won’t even turn on now so I need to replace it. While researching for appliances I was considering replacing all of them and then I thought to myself why am I going to do it all at once? I rather buy what I can in cash and then get the rest when it’s time. 

Part of the thought process was that it wouldn’t match which I do want it to match but it’s okay if it takes a year to get it to match up. If it’s not matching for a few months it’s not going to hurt anything and the reality of it is if I went and updated everything all at once it would be to impress others. Most of the time I don’t like having people over which I am okay with because my home is my happy private place. Will I get all matching appliances? Yes, I will. I am a property investor and understand the importance of having a nice looking kitchen for resell or leasing however I don’t plan on moving and am content with it being miss matched so I can pay cash. Also I am happy to say I will finally get my double oven. It’s so much nicer knowing I can cook desert and dinner at the same time. 

Today I thought about the fact that the people who support me the most in my projects are people I met through the internet. They aren’t people I know “in real life” it’s all people I communicate via the online channels of communication. My family does support me and I have maybe one or two friends who support but the reality of it is that my biggest supporters in my creative pursuits are people I don’t even know.

I say “I don’t even know” loosely because I spend a lot of time talking to some people and share stories that even my closest friends might not know or care about. I do often wonder if the leader is the person who created something or the first person who follows that creator. 

What would happen if that first person didn’t encourage the creator to continue. It’s kind of like that weird saying about the tree falling into the woods. If nobody is there to hear it did it make a sound? The funny thing is the first supporter or follower is rarely even known but without them would the creator have continued?